Saturday, November 23, 2013

A Few Good Men

Another man has lost his sense of judgement, another man has misread the situation, another man has done what many, many other men do everyday. That this man is a well known is just a coincidence. It could have been any other man in his place and chances are if he was not as well known, such a case would not even have surfaced. It happens all the time -- in schools, colleges, at work, in social events and even at home. Men invariably lose their sense of judgement and cross the boundaries and their drunken state often bails them out. 

So, this gentleman too lost his sense of judgement, or did he? Chances are that his judgement of the situation was not wrong but that of the woman was. Usually, in such scenarios, often the victim, if I can use that term, gives in. The man is senior, often her boss or boss's boss, he is also well connected. Giving in is the easy way out, aren't women taught that all the time? 

Then there are those who do not. Being a woman, I can imagine how tough it is to stand up to something like a sexual assault and to come out and report it.  In a social set up like ours everything eventually is the woman's fault -- she might have been dressed inappropriately, she herself might have been drunk, she might have asked for it for all we know.

I will not be surprised if soon there is another version of the story that reports it as a consensual relationship gone bad and therefore the woman chose to report it as an assault. After all, it took her more than ten days to report the incident.

The way we bring up men in our country, they can never see a woman as their equal, a woman to them is a public property up for exploitation. And women, they leave no stone unturned to prove the man's innocence, the reasons for his mistake could be varied but will always be justifiable. And this man, look how gracious he is! He apologised and even stepped down for the honour of his company, wait till he offers to marry the girl to protect her honour.

Thanks to such incidents, we seem to have lost trust in the men all together. A woman can trust nobody, not even her family and friends. No longer can she step out without the fear of being  mistreated and no longer can she be at home, at work or even in school or college without constantly being on the watch. What a pity!

But for all such men, there are more men who love their women --  who care for their friends, who stand behind their wives, who walk beside their lovers, who look up to their sisters and who value their mothers -- who respect women. And as long as we have even a few good men, the bad ones can be taken care of.

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