Right or Wrong

Ten celebrity home breakers - who dated or married committed men - screamed the headline. I could not help but open the news piece - if I can call it that. It had names of ten successful and famous women, who had been in a relationship with married men. Here, their success did not matter, that they allegedly broke homes did. I wondered if the men were really committed, for, if they were, there wouldn't have been even one broken home.

The woman is made differently from the man, she matures sooner - in body and in mind and usually a man her age does not match up to her emotional maturity; she also instinctively looks for a provider and a protector. She finds all this in an older man, who, by virtue of his age, could be attached or married. As for the men getting attracted to younger women - I'd let a man answer that.

In my experience, if a relationship is strong, no one can seep in. If, however, emotional differences have already damaged the foundation, no one can save it. In such a situation, the third person is either just a catalyst or - more often than not - comes into the picture after the damage has already been done.

 

But why get drawn to some other person when you already have a partner? Well, I do not have the answer - nobody does; but we all know that it happens. Maybe because despite having a partner one is lonely, maybe because the love is lost or maybe because they are genuinely in love.

Since we live in a civil society and propriety demands us to live by some rules, some such couples chose to move on, some stick around - in whatever way they can and the more daring ones get married or live in. Mostly these relationships are termed illegitimate and immoral but often these relationships are the purest - because the two individuals are in it for no selfish reason but for the fondness of each other, if not love.

In such circumstances, the woman becomes the home breaker - the home could be hers or his. The man, almost always gets away scot- free, he's a man after all - footloose and fancy free - it is the woman's duty to be cautious. The saddest part is that such allegations are almost always made by other women. Men, from what I know, could not care less.

Now, I am not a feminist, neither do I think that a woman needs any privilege only because she is a woman. I have always believed that both men and women are equal, though, they may have to, or chose to, play different roles. In fact, I think at times it is the man who has a disadvantage, he is the one who has to earn the bread and butter no matter what - the woman can still choose to take it easy.

But such a bias against women leaves me bitter and angry; being a woman myself, I know the insecurities a woman faces, the fears she lives with and the hardships she undergoes - all for love, and yet she is the one to be called names. 

 

While I am the biggest advocate of marriage, I also realise that some marriages don't work. And since its India we are talking about, walking out of it might not be easy. In such a scenario, if two people chose to stay together by means of friendship, love, sex or anything else, who are we to term it as wrong? Maybe they are right, after all.