It's been a long night... bringing back the memories of what once was and now isn't.
I am at the stage where everyone around thinks my life could not have been better.
After all having a great man for a husband, a lovely baby and a stable career at thirty is all once can ask for, isn't it?? What no one want's to see is what you lose in the bargain.. all friends, all fun, all freedom & yes some people that you are really fond of but can not be with.
It's easy to crib some say, losers complain say others, it's a sign of weakness to cry & weep. "Why?" I ask ?? Why is it that a woman is expected to do everything, leave everything behind,people she loves, things that give her happiness yet put on a happy face....
Like all women, after getting the perfect man, my world revolved around him, what he likes became my liking, what he ate became my food, he was my life center. In this process, I have lost myself somewhere. I know not who I am.. I am not the girl that left everyone behind almost ten years ago to chase her dreams. I am not the woman I pretend to be to the world, I am not the girl my husband fell in love with.. I am not my parent's little girl who was afraid of talking to people... I am not the bully who almost killed her brother. I am not the pretty young thing who attracted some boys but never paid heed to them.. I am not the nineteen year old madly in love with someone who dint even bother to look back when he left..... yet I am me, still or so I hope.
Do you know who I am ?? can you help me find myself ??
