Friday, August 30, 2013

Chand roz aur meri jaan.... chand roz

There are songs and there are songs.

Music has the power to transport you to another time, to a place where nothing else can take you. Most of us have some special songs. There are quite a few songs that make me nostalgic too.

Some songs take me back to Kanpur, where I spent my childhood in a house full of doting elders. There are others which take me to Lucknow, my teenage years, reminding me of my silly crushes and infatuations, yet others take me to my college and school fests.

Then there are those, which take me back to my husband, to our courting days.

Today, while looking up some music I chanced upon a song, old, Hindi, Kishore kumar song. One that I had never heard except when my husband sang it for me, when he was yet to be my husband.

That we had a difficult relationship, some of you may know, but how difficult it was not many might know. Since I feel generous tonight, I am sharing a part of our story.

When we met, he was already engaged to be married in a year to his long term girlfriend. What started as friendship, soon developed into a beautiful chemistry, something that I can not even attempt to describe. The good girl in me reminded me day in and day out, that this is not a "good" thing to do. That "good" girls don't steal husbands or boyfriends, that it is someone else's man that I was falling in love with. He was in a similar dilemma. On one hand was someone he was falling in love with, on the other was the one who he had committed to, years ago. We tried moving on, moving away, moving apart. It did not work.

The most difficult part, however, was taking the decision. It was a long period full of self doubt, guilt, sadness, anxiety, insecurity and agony. It is one of these moments that he sang this for me. I had never heard the song before, I laughed at it, at the irony.

Today I heard the recorded version for the first time, it's beautiful but not as beautiful as the one he sang, in the middle of the night, in the middle of a road.

Why don't you listen to it? The voice, the poetry, the music. If that's not enough, there's a very handsome Rishi Kapoor too.

Chand roz ..

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